Why I love knitting and knitters in general. . . .

Who else can make fun of themselves this way?!!??

How will YOU be remembered?

So, I try not to be a downer here but every once in a while I know that I am. Today, my hubby sent me a link from snopes that truly saddened me. To save you from clicking over, it's about how the following obituary was a TRUE one posted in the Times Herald on August 16th, 2008:

Dolores Aguilar
1929 - Aug. 7, 2008
Dolores Aguilar, born in 1929 in New Mexico, left us on August 7, 2008. She will be met in the afterlife by her husband, Raymond, her son, Paul Jr., and daughter, Ruby.

She is survived by her daughters Marietta, Mitzi, Stella, Beatrice, Virginia and Ramona, and son Billy; grandchildren, Donnelle, Joe, Mitzie, Maria, Mario, Marty, Tynette, Tania, Leta, Alexandria, Tommy, Billy, Mathew, Raymond, Kenny, Javier, Lisa, Ashlie and Michael; great-grandchildren, Brendan, Joseph, Karissa, Jacob, Delaney, Shawn, Cienna, Bailey, Christian, Andre Jr., Andrea, Keith, Saeed, Nujaymah, Salma, Merissa, Emily, Jayci, Isabella, Samantha and Emily. I apologize if I missed anyone.

Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing.

Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again.

There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, GOOD BYE, MOM.

How SAD is that??? I wonder how a family could be this torn apart? How can you live with a family that is so obviously full of hurt and anger? I wondered to myself, "was the whole family this way or just this one particular daughter?"

So I googled "Dolores Aguilar". Thankfully, I DID find an article that was printed in the Times Herald a week after the original Obit was printed. It was a commentary written by a neighbor of Dolores which read as follows:

Loving Dolores
Article Launched: 08/24/2008 08:18:25 AM PDT


I had been told about an unbelievable obituary about a woman who was not loved by her family because she didn't love them. Today, I was given that obituary to read and could not believe my eyes.
This was a woman I knew, and had grown to love.

Dolores Aguilar was my neighbor on Carolina Street for many years. A few days after we first moved there, I was introduced to her by her young granddaughter who was living with her and she was taking care of. I met her husband, Raymond, who loved her very much and she loved in return. They were friends, and comrades in life. Raymond, who worked at Mare Island, died a few years later from asbestos poisoning. He was a very good man.

I spent a lot of time at her house. She adopted me as her granddaughter, too. I was happy to be there, as I loved to hear her stories and her hugs were always heartfelt. Every time she saw me, she would hug me and say, "I love you Nena" or "I miss you." Dolores had many stories to share. She spoke a lot about life experiences, and being strong in the world. The one thing she made sure to tell me was not to lose love.

Although she didn't go to church often (she did not drive), she was a deeply religious woman. She talked a lot about the saints, the Virgin Mary and God. She spoke a lot about Heaven and also about faith and forgiveness. She was excited to go to Mass, dressed to the nines, and heard the service in complete solemnity. Dolores' spirituality may not have been visible to others, but I knew she believed and she had great faith in God.

She often cried for her son, who died in Vietnam. I was honored to be included in a trip with her grandchildren to South San Francisco, to visit her son in the cemetery. The experience was unforgettable. All the way there, she talked about how he was a good person, and how he decided to serve his country and how she often prayed for his safety. She had zest in her eyes when she spoke about him, and she would also stop mid-sentence as she tried hard not to cry. In her frailty, she made the trip to see her baby boy, she touched his tombstone, and whispered "I love you." I didn't hear one word against the government, against the war or against those who killed him. All I heard was that he was a good son, he gave his life for what he believed in, and she missed him terribly.

Dolores had a great love for animals. She welcomed dogs, and spoiled them. She was also good with people, and understood deeply about their paths in life.

What I want everyone to know is that she isn't the woman on the obituary. Because I knew her, and I loved her and she loved me. She was a wonderful woman. She was a beautiful woman. Despite all the different sorrows and pains she may have gone through with her family, she still continued to love.

She made a huge difference in my life. She may not have given me material things, but the pearls of wisdom and her enduring belief and love for me is something I will cherish forever.

Grandma, I love you, and may you truly rest in peace. I miss you and I am forever grateful.

Maria Guevara
Vallejo

I felt a bit better for Dolores but then I thought some more. Why did her daughter feel such loathing for her and yet a neighbor such love and caring? Was it something that her daughter perceived or was it a family 'secret'? Were there two Dolores Aguilars, the cruel family Dolores and the kinder neighbor Dolores? Was Dolores incapable of showing care to her family but still able to be kind to outsiders? Was she somehow frozen in her family life because of some unknown turmoil or tragedy? Did the loss of her son turn her cold towards the rest of her family? WHY could her daughter not see the person her neighbor saw? Obviously this woman was capable of giving, receiving and feeling love. She did so with this neighbor.

WHAT HAPPENED WITHIN THIS WOMAN'S FAMILY LIFE?

So, I say (once again) make sure that those you care about know how you feel. Sometimes it so much easier to be kinder and loving to outsiders because of some unseen circumstance. Whether it be because you think your family/friends/loved one know how you feel or because you were raised to not express yourself to family. Maybe you were raised that showing emotions is weak or unnecessary. Maybe you get caught up in living life and therefore are too busy at home to express your love and caring. Maybe you set too high of expectations within your family and mistakenly withhold care to "toughen" family up. Maybe you are too frightened of being rejected or are being held back by a past tragedy or hurt to express yourself to your closest loved ones.

SCREW ALL THAT!

Be sure that people in your life know how you feel. If they don't return the sentiments, F'em! At least you won't be giving anyone a reason to write an obit about you like the one written about Dolores Aguilar.

Never let yourself be unknown to anyone. Never leave yourself in doubt. Never leave reason for a obit such as the one written for Dolores.

OK, now I KNOW that I am going

straight to hell. All because I find this
extremely funny.

I can't help it and now I am dying to see this movie. (psst make sure you check out the url - too funny!)

Well, and also I just blasphemed (?) the Hail Mary into:

"Hail Harlot, full of lace
the Muses are with you.
Brilliant art thou amongst knitters and
brilliant is the fruit of your hands, JESUS!
Holy Harlot, mother of shawls,
pray for us knitters now and in the hour
of our frogs.
AMEN!"

Um, would anyone like me to save them a seat next to me?

The agony of defeat. . . .

Yeah, I didn't finish my ravelympics project. UGH.

I'm treading on with it and WILL finish it. It's my first sweater for DH so, it will be done. Plus it's coming along so lovely and DH seems to like it so. . .

we'll keep on, keepin' on.


Hey, my book club is coming along lovely and I have finished every book so far. Just read The Seduction of Water and it was great.

We are now reading Eat, Pray, Love and so far, it's good.

Are any of you in a book club? Do you all love to read? What are you reading right now?

Look Ma! No Cancer!

OK, OK, so I suck b/c it's been longer than a week and I haven't posted any other info. Y'all probably thought I died in that time (or something close to it). Thankfully the initial round of tests showed no cancer. I think that's what we are going to end up with and I finally exhaled a week ago today. However, I still need more procedures done, specifically a LEEP procedure. Doesn't sound like fun but, at least I've had a "no cancer" diagnosis so far.

Still nervous about this whole thing. My maternal grandfather and all his siblings have died of some sort of cancer or another. Plus I have a great aunt who had breast cancer as well. So, I've always felt as though "it's coming". I was sure that this was IT but, so far so good. The leep will be next friday, the 22nd. I'll try to post sooner rather than later this time, kay?

OK, onto other news. Can I say just two words to you? OLYMPICS ROCK!! We have been glued to the coverage since last friday. Woo hoo! The olympics were always a magical time in my home while growing up. My parents and grandparents would all be into it and we (my brothers and I) would get to stay up late for the opening and closing ceremonies as well as for the major events.

Can I say that in all the olympics I've ever watched, this opening ceremony was by far the best. EVER. Of course, nothing could go this well as demonstrated by this and now this. Really? Not "pretty enough". How does a 7 year old EVER get over that one? Of course, I don't buy it for one minute that all their gymnasts are at least 16 either. Honestly there are a couple that I would say are 13 at the most. Sigh. Oh well, I'll just enjoy the show and not try to focus on the politics of the whole thing.

Speaking of Olympics, I am participating (snicker) in Ravelympics for Team Hopelessly Overcommitted. I am participating in three events ("freeforallfreestyle", "holidayhandball" and "sweatersprint") with the knitting of this beauty for DH. So, I'm into the body of the sweater and I am desperately trying to work on it as much as my poor little carpal tunnel wrists will allow. I also have to try and squeeze in some reading time for my book club. We are reading "The Seduction of Water" by Carol Goodman. So far, it's been a good book but I just don't have the time to do it all.

AAACCCKKK!!

ooh, I wonder what's on the olympics right now ???

Have you seen this?

THIS is a great site and an amazing way to "recycle" books. So far, I've 'mooched' 2 books (one of which is next month's selection for my book club - SCORE) and now sent 3.

If you are like me and have many books which you've read and which need good new homes, go check it out! By the way, my bookmooch id is "knittingnurse" - SURPRISE!

Knitting continues slowly but surely. Still working on the SOTS-II and some other previous WIPs. I'm trying not to start anything new without first finishing somethinig old. We'll see how that goes. . . . .

Health front: at least 1 week before results come back . . . . . . .

Sharing a funny

Thanks Amy for the heads-up on this!

So good!

Daily Thought

July 15, 2008
The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.
— Allan K. Chalmers


I am one of those people that sign up for all sorts of stuff in her email. I can't help it. I'm a sucker. One of the things I get is a daily thought. Sometimes I open them, others I just delete. Some of them hit home and others have no impact at all. I am a believer in kismet, synchronicity, karma, fate, call it what you may and I think that things come to you at just the right time when you really need them most. Like when I am really feeling pissy about my life and how "unfair" it all is and then I go to work and take care of someone who has had their world cave in on them. I always take a look up and say "Ok God, I hear you and I will shut up. Thanks for the reminder!"

So, anyway, today's daily thought spoke to me. Not because I am not happy, I am (today is a good day). It's just that happiness can be so fleeting and we often take it for granted.

Now, since my "active" posting a lot has gone on. Hate to repeat but, there was the accident, the hot water heater, the downstairs a/c (replaced last week) and now the upstairs a/c (thankfully we have, since last week, renewed our home warranty contract so it will be, at least partially, covered this time). I am, as I type, waiting for the a/c repair people to come check it out. So, still happy though, why?

Well, because in the last few weeks I have been dealing with another issue that has really made me take a good look at life and what matters and what happiness really is. I am in the midst of a health issue that I have wondered about posting vs. not posting. For right now, let's just leave it as, I am going in next week for further tests and then I will have a definitive answer. I'm not trying to be sneaky, I just would rather wait to have a clear diagnosis (or hopefully not) before typing. As I said, I was debating about whether or not I should post about it until later but, I've been really good about keeping it to myself and I felt I needed a bit of an outlet. So, here's my vague post about the whole thing. Le sigh. Sorry 'bout that. The thing is that I really have a grasp on what truly matters better than I have in the past. I am grateful for that understanding.

So, think of me and say a little prayer if you have a moment. All will be revealed in the next couple of weeks. . . . .


Tonight is swim meet night. Woohoo. Go SHARKS! I should post some new pix of the boy soon. . . . .


Still knitting on SOTS-II but signed up for SOTS-III anyway! Ravelry link.

Things I've done since falling off the face of blogger

1. Recuperated from that REALLY bad accident.

2. Dealt with a ruptured hot water heater (heater in attic - water coming down through second floor and into kitchen on first - fun times)

3. Joined a book club (Woo hoo)

4. Dealt with broken A/C (yep!)

5. Visited my friend for her 40th birthday up in Cleveland!

6. Drove down replacement car for hubby on the way back from Cleveland

7. Got sick on said drive down (on side of road and not in new car - Thank GOD)

8. Helped friend here in NC deal with dog behaviour issues and having to give dog back to breeder (EVERYTHING was tried)

9. Got hooked on "In Plain Sight" and "Swingtown" (hey, I'm allowed some guilty pleasures)

10. Knit unknown quantities of dishcloths (at least 8 or so)

11. Knit this tunic in bubblegum Cotton-ease (ravelry link)

12. Planned a girls weekend away craft extravaganza for August with 3 buddies from my 'hood (ha ha, I said "hood")

13. Dealt with the death of 4 fish (they made the trip all the way down from OH and everything!) - abou 1/month or so - they were old

14. Knit my very first Baby Surprise Jacket (and gave it away without a picture)

15. Got 4 new fish (our pleco was getting lonely)

16. Knit some more on my SOTS-2 (ravelry link again)

17. Bought new living room furniture!

18. Lost 3.5 lbs on Wii Fit!

19. Got hooked on Facebook!

20. Didn't feel guilty about not blogging (well, maybe a little. I DO miss you all)


I will try to get some pictures up of some of my knitting (except the dishcloths - those are already given away)

Mosaic meme

1. 040906 - Mike and Jannett around campfire, 2. Pompon the Sushi Connaisseur, 3. 01-BrieMimiGrandmaNancy, 4. Red Panda, 5. Andy Garcia, 6. Mojito Power, 7. extraordinary symbols, 8. Dark Chocolate, Raspberry Cake and its Chocolate-Ginger Mousse, 9. the Clinquant of Hope, 10. Joy of life, 11. Golden Clouds, 12. Flip Flop Swap Goodies

I totally stole this one from Amy

1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr search.

2. Using only the first page of results, pick one image.

3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Big Huge Lab’s Mosaic Maker to create a mosaic of the picture answers.

4. Post your mosaic on your blog.

5. Enjoy!

The questions:

1. What is your first name?

2. What is your favorite food right now?

3. What high school did you go to?

4. What is your favorite color?

5. Who is your celebrity crush?

6. What is your favorite drink?

7. What is your dream vacation?

8. What is your favorite dessert?

9. What do you want to be when you grow up?

10. What do you love most in life?

11. What is one word that describes you?

12. What is your flickr name

Happy Birthday my love, my life

It may seem like an ordinary day to others, but today is the day where I bend knee to thank God for you and the life that we have. What may seem like any other day is the wonderful anniversary of the day that you were born. I'm sure that your parents had no idea on that day that you were to be as amazing as you are. I'm sure that looking at you, they were both in awe and couldn't imagine you being anymore wonderful than you were in that very moment. However, they learned.

They learned about your kindness as you grew and brought home hand made gifts and trinkets. They learned about your intelligence as they were amazed with your accomplishments at school. They learned about your wit with all your quick retorts and the wonderful sounds of your laughter. They learned about your compassion while watching you care for Baron as well as your amazing bonds with friends. They also learned about your mischievousness through all your antics with your cousin and friends. (Boy did they ever learn THAT!)

I, however, had very little time to learn all this before falling helplessly in love with you. You were handsome, kind, smart, funny, bold and strong and I loved you. I loved you and I have since that moment on. There's never been a moment since then in which I haven't loved you with all that I have within me.

Our years together have been peppered with sadness as well as anger. We have disagreed and we have argued as well as crying and laughing. We've moved forward, then backwards, only to push further forward in our lives together. I want you to know that through it all, my love for you has never faltered and, in all the years to come, it never will.

I want to thank you for blessing me with the honor of guarding your love and having our son. To look at him and know that this is something made from both of us and our love amazes me to this day. I shall never be able to repay you for the wonderful gift that our son is to me. Thank you seems so inadequate for all that I have been given by you.

So, today I want to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE! I hope that this coming year is full of even more joy and happiness for you. I pray that all your heart's desires are fulfilled just as much as you have fulfilled mine. I will try to bring you a fraction of the swonderful life that you have brought me because, I know, that there is no way that I could ever dream of being able to make you as happy as you have made me. I can't imagine my life without you in and am in awe of my luck at having you love me.

Tag you are it!

First, Moriah tagged me for a little meme that's kinda cute and been running around (frankly I'm surprised that any of you are still here with as lazy as I've been about blogging):P. Here be the specifics:

1) Link to the person who tagged you.
2) Post the rules.
3) Share six non-important things / habits / quirks about yourself.
4) Tag at least three people.
5) Be sure the people you tagged KNOW you tagged them by commenting what you did.

My stuff:

1. I am a neat freak at work everything has to be in it's place and any non-essentials thrown away. All my tubings, bags, bottles, syringes must be fresh and dated. However outside of work, I have many multiple piles all over the house and never put the same thing in the same spot twice. Despite this, I know where everything is. This drives my husband insane.

2. I DESPISE putting laundry away. I don't mind washing and drying. I even like folding things the right way so that everything is nice and neat and the same size. . . . .and then UGH! Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate putting it away. What a waste of time! Again, hubby is driven batty.

3. I had two miscarriages before successfully carrying our son. I spotted with his pregnancy and fretted over him the entire pregnancy (although I continued to work until the day I went into labor). I called my hubby with each and every twang putting him into fits of despair I am sure although he was extremely supportive.

4. I was very close to my great-grandmother growing up. She died on the day before my first communion. About 3 years later, I saw her sitting on the edge of my bed waving at me to let me know she was there. My husband thinks it was all a dream. It was in the middle of the day and I know what I saw. Nobody else saw her. Hubby thinks I'm insane on this point. Whatever.

5. My day isn't successful unless I make my patient smile at least once in my shift (barring those days when I am lucky just to keep my patient alive through my shift). There's nothing better than to hear your patient laugh or to see their eyes light up as they smile - especially when they do it despite their breathing tubes, etc. Makes my day every time. No insanity with this one, just some Patch Adams therapy (Ok, maybe a little craziness from me but would you rather have Nurse Ratched?)

6. I got my first (and so far only) tattoo at the age of 36. It took me that long b/c I wanted something that would mean something to me no matter my age AND that wouldn't look silly when I was old (gotta love them grandmas with their skull tattoos or birds/flowers on the breasts- NICE) and give my family something to be horrified about. I settled on the Univ of Miami split "U". It's on my lower back. Yeah, it's a tramp stamp but I like it and it isn't going to turn into some unidentifiable blob when I am old. Hmmm, does that make me crazy?

hmmmmmm I think I am going to tag. . . . . .

1. A Nurse who Knits

2. Knitting RN

3. Nurse Shar Knits


Oh, and BTW, could you tell that I had a fabulous day at work today?????!!!!???