I know, I know, it's a super sappy, over-commercialized excuse of a holiday where flower, candy, card and jewelry companies all take us on a ride and often times leave us stranded. . . . . BUT. . . .it
is a day to show and tell the people you love the most how much they mean to you.
To my dearest hubby. I LOVE you. I love you in more ways than I thought I would every be able to love. You drive me to the edge of insanity on some days but always manage to make sure I never fall off the precipice! (tee hee) Thank you for all the laughter, love, joy and abundance you have gifted me with in all of our years together. I am blessed.
To my most precious son. You are an absolutely awe inspiring miracle that I cherish more and more with each passing day. How did I ever make such a thing of true perfection? Your wit, warmth and smile make my heart burst with pride and joy whenever I think of you. There isn't a day that I don't thank God for having allowed me the privilege and honor to be your mom. I don't know what I did to deserve you but I will forever be amazed by you.
As you all may have read earlier here, I spent the weekend before last with my Mom who came up for a visit (finally). We had a grand time. I had not seen her in over 8 or 9 months (with the packing, moving and settling in and all) and I had missed her terribly. It was a good visit. It was busy but not crazy and I spent every moment she was here with her. She calms me and centers me and I love her with a depth I was unable to comprehend when I was younger. The visit could not have come at any better time.
I was awakened early on the Monday morning of February 5th by a call from my dear friend Candi. Her mother was dying. . . . .that day. (She too is a nurse). She had taken a very bad turn the night before and now it was just a matter of a few hours. . . . . . .
I woke up and
my Mom and I prepared a good breakfast for ourselves and DS. We dropped him off at school and had the entire day, just the 2 of us, together. We talked and shopped and just spent the day 'being' together. My Mom spoiled me. I let her. I took her to lunch. She let me. She was supposed to leave at a time where I would have to drop her off at the airport without her seeing DS again. Her flight was delayed. We went to pick him up and we were all thrilled that the two of them got to see eachother again and slip in some more hugs and kisses.
I had to explain to my DS that I would be leaving to go spend time with Ms. Candi because her Mom had passed. He looked at me with a comprehension beyond his age and told me simply that he "loved me" and how very very sorry he was for Ms. Candi. I booked my flights, DH came home, I quickly packed and I was off.
I arrived around midnight and spent Tuesday - Thursday with my friend. We stayed up late, we watched mindless TV, we ate, we drove around her city, we cleaned out her Mom's room in the long-term facility, we took shoes to the funeral home, we had dinner with the rest of her family, we laughed and we cried. I stood with her throughout the services and we were the only two standing there as they interred (sp?) her Mom's casket in the Mausoleum (sp?). It was as it's always been for us in our friendship. Just the 2 of us standing in a quiet understanding that is only shared and comfortable by the closest of friends.
On the flights home, I thought about how absolutely precious and short our time here is. I heard of the untimely (although not too surprising to me) death of
such a young american personality in the airport and was again struck with the thought of life and death. I spent every moment possible with my boys this weekend. I helped my son as he prepared dinner for DH and I (THAT's a post in and of itself - too sweet) and was amazed at his maturity and abilities in the kitchen. I enjoyed every moment with each of them.
I worked both Monday and Tuesday and I took care of some VERY young patients (21, 23 and 26). Two VERY VERY sick (brain tumors - one definitely malignant and the other awaiting results) and one unexpected but in the end lesser illness (acute appendicitis requiring urgent appendectomy). The brain tumor patient with the diagnosis has a very BAD form and an extremely poor prognosis. So young. So sad.
Anyhow, enough with all that. My point here is that I've been getting many, many reminders about the preciousness of life and those around us and I am NOT going to ignore it all. I am going to celebrate my loves today. Despite the 'sappyness' and obvious commercialization -
show the ones you love how much you love them today (and every day after that!)Now, I am going to go and spend some time on loving myself (absolutely necessary - I am going to knit!) since my boys are at school and work (respectively) before I have to go run errands!
