KnittingNurse

Just a place where I can sit and write my thoughts on my newest passion. . . . . knitting. Hopefully, I will better document my progress throughout knitting and get in touch with others as obsessed as I am!

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

No knitting but some excellent reading

DANG IT! My carpal tunnel is acting up and although I REALLY, REALLY want and need to knit, I can't. . . it really, really hurts right now. :-O

Sigh.

BUT, have no fear, I have found something to occupy my time. . . .has anyone else read this. Man, it's good. Ok, Ok, so I am not lil' miss politics and I do not know anyone who suffered a personal loss on 9/11. . . BUT. . . .

I do know what it is like to have friends who are your lifeline during hard times. I do know that it is very important to tell the people who matter to you that, well, that they matter to you.

This book? FAB! Yes, it's the story of 4 Sept. 11 widows and yes, they do talk about losing their husbands but it is NOT a book about Sept. 11th. It's a love story about 4 women who form a bond that is beyond a "normal" friendship. It is about how they come to understand that life is meant to be shared with people who you love: romantic love, familial love, parent/child love, and just as important, friendship love.

I've always been one to tell people when I love them. Yep, PEOPLE. Not just boys, not just men, not just my family, PEOPLE. I love people all around me in my life. . . and I tell them. I tell them whenever I feel it and whenever I am saying goodbye. I don't want to ever have something happen and have them not know that I loved them. It's important to me. I've seen so many people die with the regret of unspoken words or feelings. I don't want that for me or for those around me. So, if I love you, I'm gonna tell you. Live with it.

A few years ago I met the wife of one of DHs (back then) coworkers - (did that make sense?). Anywho, we met at a baseball game when DS and I got to go to the firm's suite at The Jake. We hit it off right away. Our lives where such parallels of each others. We both grew up in Florida. We both married our college sweethearts. We both wanted lots of kids. We both had just one son. (We both had very similar feelings about that but that's a different story). We both supported our families in New Orleans while our husbands both attended Tulane Law School (different class years - we were a year a head of them). We both are under appreciated (and under paid) professionals - teacher and nurse. (Again, different story). You get the picture, right?

I remember the first time I told her that I loved her as we were hanging up from a phone call. She was taken aback and just said "uh, Thanks". I persisted with subsequent conversations and meetings to tell her that I loved her when saying goodbye b/c I had come to love her. She mattered to me. I wanted her to know it.

I also remember her and I having a conversation where she told me how much me telling her that I loved her meant to her. She started looking at her life different and realizing that she, like many, just assumed that the people who mattered to her just knew that they mattered to her. Of course they know, right? Uh, not necessarily and even if they do, who doesn't like to hear that they matter, that they are loved? She thanked me for teaching her to tell people how she feels. She told me how she had started to say I love you more and how much closer it drew her to those that mattered. She told me that it changed her to hear that she was loved not just by those who were supposed to love her, but by other who chose to love her. So now, each time we write each other or talk, we say "LYLAS" (we pronounce it 'lilas') - love you like a sister.

So, this book, it's a good book. It's written by each of the 4 widows plus another author. Pick it up if you can. It's really a good read.

Oh, and by the way,

when was the last time you told your friends that you loved them???

9 Comments:

At 8:58 AM , Anonymous robert swayze said...

Hey dont chuck out ur hobby from ur life dear..thats the only thing that keeps us busy in our evil time and brings a smile in our face at the success of it..go ahead and never get rid of it :)

 
At 9:02 AM , Blogger knittingnurse said...

Oh, never, never, never. I was just getting to the fact that OUTSIDE of our immediate family, many of us do not let our "not immediate" family know how important they are.

Just another facet of our lives that deserves recognition as well. That's all.

 
At 9:47 AM , Blogger irishmama said...

I was just looking at that book the other day, now I'm definitely going to get it. How true what you said, we forget to tell the people around us especially friends how much they mean to us.

 
At 11:42 AM , Blogger Liz said...

I always tell my dear friends that I love them and that they are important to me. I am an only child and my parents are only children too so I had a very small family growing up. So I have always said that Friends are the Family that you Choose. It has freaked out a number of my friends over the years, but mostly it makes them really brighten and a number of them have begun to respond in kind. It's a great feeling to know that you are cared for. And it's a gift to be able to share it.

 
At 10:23 PM , Blogger Sourire11 said...

I totally agree with everything you are saying here... In the Bridget Jones Diary books she refers to her friends as her "Urban Family". Well my friends are definately my Urban Family. There are so many ways that we support and rely on each other that is just like an actual family. Thanks for posting this - I'm totally going to go send them an email right now!

Oh and I tried your tea concoction and it was AMAZING. Thanks for sharing that!!!

 
At 9:06 AM , Blogger KnittySue said...

I'm so sorry to hear your CT is faring...hope it's better soon. I just love your blog and want to share that my daughter was just accepted into the nursing program here in MI, I hope she can achieve the qualities you have.
I visit everyday and look forward to your adventures in knitting and nursing.
Take care.

 
At 5:33 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yep, it's definitely you! I'd recognize the 'love' all the way from Ohio! I always appreciated your hugs. They were warm and meaningful, and I miss them... AND you! We've both changed emails, so we need to update. Please email me @ thegales07@verizon.net
We need to catch up!
LOVE, Lori ;)

 
At 4:46 PM , Blogger Kaet said...

what a lovely sentiment you have captured in this post. i think too often we assume people know we love them, and forget or hesitate to say it. but it makes one feel so good to say it, and hear it. i end each phone conversation with someone i love with a simple and effective i love you. i was in nyc (and still am) through 9/11, and adopted this habit at that time. i never want to have to wait until a moment like that to say this to someone when i could have been saying it all along.

 
At 12:48 AM , Blogger Katherine said...

That's wonderful! It takes some serious bravery to do that. I've just really started recently and unfortunately it took a serious illness and death to really drive that lesson home.

It's funny how sometimes it really startles people, since they aren't used to people putting themselves out there like that.

 

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