Friday, June 08, 2007

Yes God, I'm listening. . .

Every once in a while, I'll have a day where I feel like God is slapping me across the head saying "What are you complaining about?!?" - Either that or "Really, you have a fabulous life y'know!" - I know that these days happen to everyone but as a nurse, these days happen a whole hell of a lot more often and to a higher degree.

Today was one of those days. Thankfully my patients were relatively "stable" (used loosely here). Both post car wrecks, one still wearing a Halo for a broken cervical vertebra (i.e. broken neck) and the other a paraplegic as a result of the accident. One is 3 weeks post accident (the paraplegic) and the other is 1 week out and still needs a cervical fusion (the Halo patient) but stable. That can be enough some days to make you realize how lucky you really are but the kicker today has really sucked every bit of emotional reserve out of me.

The shift started with one of our nurses having been called in early to go take a trauma patient off the unit to have examinations/tests done - BAD car accident. VERY. VERY. BAD. 4 hours, 2 "in the ICU room" open belly surgeries (yep, right there in the room), over 2 dozen (and counting at the time) blood products and one trip to the actual OR later. . . . the patient died of massive internal injuries on the OR table. Less than 10 months after an older sibling had died. Leaving a twin sibling as an only living child and a set of unbelievably distraught but wonderful parents with another child loss way to early. VERY. VERY. BAD. ACCIDENT.

1 1/2 hours later we got the call about a second "disaster patient" (i.e. severe trauma). Another car accident. Another BAD accident. Patient who was in the 24th week of a pregnancy. Severe internal injuries, severe head injury and multiple, multiple fractures. Loss of the fetal heart tones at the scene of the accident. No responsiveness since the wreck. Massive hemorrhaging. EVERYWHERE. A second destroyed family in the blink of an eye and in the span of a single 12 hour shift. The patient was still there when we left. . .well, in the physical sense (not sure about spiritually).

So, all day long I just kept thinking of how precious and fleeting life can be and how things that seem to drive us crazy and get under our skin REALLY don't matter that much in the end. . . .

SIGH.

Wear your seatbelts, kay?

13 comments:

Cristina Salgueiro said...

Yes, we always take life for granted. We only awake when knoks on our door.
Have a nice weekend.

Anonymous said...

Wow. That is quite an experience for you to go through. I'm sure you've seen you're fair share of bad accidents, but they seem to have come all at once yesterday (today?). I'm sure He has a plan for it all.

Mikki said...

A day like that can knock the joy out of you. We trully are only a breath away, any of us.

Hug your loved ones. Here's my hug for you (((HUG)))

I promise to wear my seatbelt.

Knitty, Vintage and Rosy said...

Not much more to say that you have not already said.

Upon waking every morning I do thank God for allowing me the pleasure of seeing another day.

Perhaps a strong martini or a cold cerveza is in order?

Unknown said...

Hi ya - just found you on the Knitting Nurses webring.

I have a patient right now who had a freak accident - farm work - and is now suffering from a bad spinal injury. It really does make you take a step back and say ... wow, I really am lucky in my own life. What was I complaining about? I don't get to see the real post trauma ( I work a skilled/rehab unit), but we still hear the stories that come from upstairs where I work.

Have a great weekend.

Katherine said...

I honestly don't know how you do it. Another hug for you: {hug}

You know, I feel guilty about it, but I think all the time, "Thank god my kids are healthy." We cuddle a lot. Husband too. Death just seems so easy now.

We ALWAYS wear our seatbelts.

KnittySue said...

Sending you a HUG, yesterday had to be really, really hard. I had a good day at a Cancer walk..pop over and read.
Grab some tea (or drink of choice) and a skein of yarn and give yourself some rewind time.
NURSES ARE AWESOME BLESSINGS....

Kathy N said...

Thank you for the perspective. I do forget to count my blessings from time to time. Now excuse me while I go and hug my daughter.

Jennifer said...

i ALWAYS wear my seatbelt...was in a very bad car accident when i was 17 and could have died, so my family would kill me themselves if they ever found out i wasn't wearing one now.

hugs to you for your bad day and a hug to you for being a friend who i feel blessed to have xo

amylovie said...

Life is so precious. You happen to have a job that slaps you in the face with that fact. I'm going to say a little prayer for all of those families.

Amy

paula said...

I agree, working as a nurse and seeing how death can come so quickly and unexpectedly makes you appreciate what you have.

Sourire11 said...

Wow. I could never be a nurse. You are such a strong person to be able to handle that every day... thank you for sharing - stories like that really put things into perspective.

Anonymous said...

Everyone has bad days, but if someone in the healthcare fields has a bad day, it's BAD. And if you think it was VERY. VERY. BAD, it's horrific, heinous or beyond comprehension. Thank you for all you do and for being there for your patients and their families. I'm sure their families don't always have the presence of mind to thank you, but please know that those of us who can't do what you do, appreciate your efforts greatly. Hang in there!!!