Maybe this time it'll stick again?

So, it's almost 2022. Crazy to think. We have had a whole famn damily worldwide pandemic for going on two years now. I know. It's been a bit since I've been on here. Sue me. This Christmas though I finally replaced my old (truly a freakin' lemon) computer and now have one that I can actually use without throwing it against the wall (ok so maybe I just had to keep updating it and it kept shutting down or freezing indiscriminately). So, here's a quick update on me and life in general for 2021: 1. Covid became a huge thing early 2020. Worldwide huge. I worked the first 9 months of the year and whew, that was, er, something. 2. I hadn't retired at the end of 2019 like planned because DH's company brought in new management and despite him being #11 of 13 on the previous management team to be someway or another squeezed out of the company, he was indeed still left without a job due to "restructuring". So I stayed on with the plan that I would retire immediately upon him finding a new job. But, when he did we were in the midst of #1 and I wasn't about to abandon my coworkers. 3. We finally had to cut bait and plan on relocating for DH's new position. So, September 2020 I officially retired to focus on getting us and the house ready for our move. SO. MUCH. DOWNSIZING. AND. PURGING. 4. We found what we thought was a great new home and had an offer accepted. 3 months into it and after multiple and consistent extensions and unaddressed concerns about the sellers, we pulled out of it, found a new place to bid on, offer was accepted and BAM, to the new house we went. (The prior drama from the first house was ridiculously upsetting but in the end we ended up in the PERFECT home for our little family). 5. Our son found a new job, which he loves and is excelling in, less than a month after settling into our new home. 6. During the course of working the beginning of the pandemic, my already present healthcare associated PTSD was worsened to the point of having flashbacks at random times/places outside of work. I retired and have been dealing with this new level of PTSD since. This is my new norm sadly but I have great support from my DH and DS so I will be OK eventually. 7. I have spent all of 2021 dealing with the effects of my now C(hronic)PTSD and dealing with the return of my seasonal affective depression (on top of my regular depression) and am newly diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder. Yay me. 8. Upon moving and getting new GPs, both hubby and I were encouraged to have "baseline" cardiac workups since we are both now in our 50's. Whelp, my workup has so far been found to be normal however, . . . . . . . 9. DH was found to have some major perfusion issues within his nuclear med cardiac stress test along with a ridiculoulsy high cardiac calcium score via CT. A cardiac cath was indicated to see what we were dealing with and 3 major blockages (90%, 90%, 95+%!!!) in his LAD along with a completely occluded RCA which was left the right side of his heart being fed by an intense system of collaterals all stemming from his highly diseased LAD. The man would have been a classic sudden cardiac death had we not had been having "routine" workups being done. He simply had absolutley no symptoms outside of some SOB with exertion but no more than I was having so we though we both just needed to get in better shape. True for me but clearly NOT the only issue for him. Thankfully and blessedly, we had been consulted to one of the premier cardiac interventionalists of the day who was able to do the cardiac cath and clear out the blockages via artheroscopy then place 4 stents to keep them all open without having to resort to open heart surgery. I can not express how grateful I am to our God for having us exactly where we needed to be to find this and take care of it prior to my having become a widow. 10. I had an urgent cholystectomy which then necessitated an emergent ERCP for a stone that was completely occluding my common bile duct. Thankfully, the duct never ruptured and I recovered without any issues. 11. This year, the pandemic and our health issues have made so many things so much clearer in my life. I understand even more now how absolutely precious every single moment we have on earth is and how fleeting life truly is. I have learned via my therapy that I AM ENOUGH and that I am worthy of respect and care from those around me. I do NOT have to maintain toxic relationships to "keep the peace" within the family if said family isn't willing to alter their toxicity towards me. I am ALLOWED to step away from relationships where all I do is give and they take and no manner of me asking them for healthier boundaries have worked. Sadly, this has led to me being forced to realize that some family members have truly always used me for their gain with no regards tobe ok with myself or my needs as their family member. Ive learned to speak my truth and see where the chips fall. I have learned that it is OK if I separate myself from those who aren't able to mind my boundaries. I am still learning to be OK with and not feel guilty for refusing to be walked on again. 12. I am approaching 2022 (2020 too?) with my eyes wide open as the world deals with the 2nd major variant to Covid-19 Omicron. My little family of three have all been vaccinated and boosted and we all follow social distancing and masking guidelines. We are doing all we can to stay healthy and to keep others healthy. I've learned to accept that that is all we can do. If you've stuck around this long (God bless you lol), thank you and I hope to see you here more. Stay well and here's to 2022!